When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
