I wanna passion pit in your ass
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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