How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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