shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
