Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
zippers are such a cool invention
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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