Porn is love you can see.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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