So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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