its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Terrible idea I love it
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
