dude i'm inner monologue high
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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