You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
