I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
