I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
