Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
