Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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