I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
