Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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