So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
