a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
