could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Randomize
