What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
