Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
