i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
