found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
