i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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