His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
