I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
