i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
