dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
