So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
