I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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