I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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