i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
What drink are we having for lunch?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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