**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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