Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
