NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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