Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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