I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
