what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
