this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
