I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
