somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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