my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
When are your genitals available?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
