I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
