You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
