dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
