that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
