I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
