you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize