this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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