the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I still have a little drunk in my system
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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