Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
