i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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